Just mADE A PArabola og urine
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
