We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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