dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize
