I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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