only if we run a train.
done.
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
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