fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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