OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
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