I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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