you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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