I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
