It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Randomize
