Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
