I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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