p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
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