You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Randomize
