In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Randomize
