So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
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