so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
