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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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