i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
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