And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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