3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
ugly people sure do ruin things
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Randomize
