so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Randomize
