i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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