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Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
