Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Randomize