Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
Randomize
