On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
And then the night went full on bisexual.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
