A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
