On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
