People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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