Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Randomize
