She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
nutella sex= disaster
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Randomize
