If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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