turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
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