fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
