Me. At least after what I've been through.
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
