since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
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