if only i could text you this smell
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
