She went from zero to smokin in five shots
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize