i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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