Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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