his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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