And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
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