Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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