Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
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