Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize