I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
i just made my gag reflex go away.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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