I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Randomize
