I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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