8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
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