On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Randomize
