just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
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