I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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