dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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