P.S. I can't hear my feet
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
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