Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
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