I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Randomize
