Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Randomize
