We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Randomize
