i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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