the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize