She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
