Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
Ketchup is God's man juice
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Randomize
