Already got asked if we're dating
I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
