I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
