I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Couch. On fire.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
